The Notorious RBG

Note: This was updated October 11th, 2020.

The legend of the Notorious RBG is now history. Unfortunately, she passed away this month. 2020, you are simply horrific.

While she was known for her advocacy for women, she also helped individuals with disabilities live independent lives. The Disability Scoop states, "This big moment, and (Ginsburg’s) staunch affirmation of the human dignity of people with disabilities and their rightful place in the community of their choice, fundamentally changed the course of the lives of hundreds of thousands of people with disabilities,” said Peter Berns, CEO of The Arc.”  I am one of those people.

Her shadow lingers over me like an ever-expansive starry night. Picking up her torch seems heavier than the Olympic torch however, if we pick it up together, it will be easier to carry. I fight with words, so I admire how she used the English language to advocate for the little guy. Words are a weapon and if they are used correctly, the world changes for good. 

As I write this, the leader of the United States has Covid-19. The Senate is trying to push through a nominee for the Supreme Court in an unconstitutional way. Parts of the country are burning to the ground. Other natural disasters are rampant across the country. My mind also drifts towards third world countries who lack resources in a way we cannot begin to fathom. As a person who wants to help, I do not know where to begin.

And then I think of the people in my life that make me smile. I think of weddings, birthdays, graduations, we will get back to those eventually. I think of the impromptu dance parties with friends and it brings a sense of peace. We will eventually get back to normal. Meanwhile, I will spread love and try to do as good as possible.

 For now, take it day by day. 

Virtual Hugs,

Hannah!

Kidney Stones in a Pandemic!

 It's been one heck of a month! 

I was having pain on my left side. I went to the doctor and through an x-ray, my doctor determined it was kidney stones. I was told to drink a lot of fluids and wait it out. Fine.

Two weeks later, I am in writhing pain. I did not have an appetite; I could not do anything but sit. I called my doctor who wanted me to go to the emergency room. Wanting to avoid the ER in a pandemic (I cannot believe I just typed that sentence), my dad asked my doctor if we could avoid going to the ER and just send prescription pain medication. My doctor would not do that because I could have had an infection or blockage. I did not want to go to the ER, but the pain was radiating to my legs. My dad was pacing nervously the entire day; I felt so bad, but I knew I was in pain. I did not want to put my parents through this, but it was absolutely necessary. 

I asked my parents to take me to Rush Oak Park. This was because my doctors are all there, so I knew the x-rays were very much accessible to them. This is when I got frustrated. The fact that my x-rays were on hand did not speed up the process. Are you kidding? I just dragged my parents here for NOTHING. I was so angry they could not speed up the process.  

After a two hour wait, we get to a room. They finally give me morphine. Within two minutes, I am out of pain. After another hour, I finally got into CT. The technician's son happened to have a disability too, so he let mom be in the room which always helps.

It turns out that the stupid kidney stone moved. It did not become 15 stones; the darn thing just moved! I was so frustrated, happy to be on the morphine but what a waste of time! Since coming home, I only needed two pain killers. I am hoping it passed but I don't know. 

As if this wasn't enough, I had a new caregiver go through training and then quit. Yeah, that’s nice. September, could you go easy on us?

Hannah! 

Tubing

At warp speed, my head was going up and down. David asked if I wanted to stop. Yes, I did. Instead of going to the sand bar, we stopped in the middle of the water. This was not my plan. I thought we would go back to the sand bar. If you stop in the water, you fall in the water. David and I slip off the tube. David has me so I am more than safe and then Genevieve jumps off the boat to help us.

David chose the lesser of the two evils which was great me on the boat and not the tube. My siblings had the strength of every Marvel character and lifted me into the boat. I could have gotten scratched, but they did not let it happen. I am very thankful. My siblings are incredible!

While we were at the cabin, my family threw me a surprise graduation. It was incredibly thoughtful and special. Thank you to my family for doing something that extraordinary and for a great 4^th of July!

30!!!

For those of you who don't know, I turned 30 on June 25th.

So many wonderful people have come and gone. I feel so deeply blessed by each one of you. My life is a mural of people who have brought joy and light.

Given that I have so many loved ones in Heaven, I feel really blessed to be this old. A lot of people did not get to hit milestones this year because of the virus so I couldn't imagine complaining. The only thing is changing from telling people I'm in my 30s instead of 20s. That's been very weird.

I started this blog when I was 18. Thank you for a wonderful 12 years! It's been fun!

Lovingly,
Hannah! 

Part of Society

I'm a white woman. This message may not be perfect but it's better to say something than stay silent. 

I don't know where to begin. Racial tensions have skyrocketed and every single news clip breaks my heart over and over again. As a white woman, I do not know their experience. I do not know what it is like to see an individual who looks like me get killed over and over again and for the killers to be set free. I cannot really fathom what that is like.

It is not their problem; it is our problem. When it is our problem, change occurs. Everybody is somebody to someone. George Floyd was a basketball player, a college athlete, a gentle giant, and of course, a father. That is what an entire community lost and will never get back. Mr. Floyd represents countless other individuals of color that have been killed from police brutality including Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and the list is devastatingly long.

My dear friend, Kevin D'agostino passed away from Cystic Fibrosis. I am grieving a personal loss as well as trying to understand how I can use my white privilege to work towards a more just society. Kevin is not here because science isn't moving fast enough; George Floyd is not here because society isn't moving fast enough. We're all part of society; we can all take action and do better.

In Solidarity,
Hannah

The Good News and the Bad News

I'll start with the good news. I am the student speaker for the commissioning ceremony for my department. The evening before graduation my department gets together and celebrates our hard work. The graduating class chooses a speaker to reflect on their journey at Loyola. I am thrilled and incredibly humbled that the class of 2020 chose me. I've dreamed of speaking on behalf of my class my whole life and it's coming true. That's the good news.

The bad news is it is all going to be on Zoom. I love gatherings, they mark the passage of time. Time is a thief. We pause for big events are because these events are milestones of life. I genuinely was looking forward to seeing everyone I loved; not on a screen but in person. It's in our nature to want to come together and that has been taken away from us. To everyone graduating this year, I feel your pain, however, this is temporary and I know our generation will be more creative, thoughtful, and empathetic because of this crisis.

I know I grieve a loss that is temporary. Some of you may have lost a loved one and for that I am deeply sorry. Some of you have been alone for two months and I can't imagine how much you just want to be with other people. For all essential workers, thank you for your sacrifice. We owe you so much. 

And to Dr. Fauci, a fellow Loyola graduate, you exemplify leadership at its best in the very worst of times!  

Yours Truly, 
Hannah!

This is Hard

Well, these are hard times. There is no sugar coating it. It is April 12th and throughout these weeks, I've gotten some good advice.

• Don't feel pressured to learn a new skill. We are going through a global crisis. It's okay not to come out of this as a yoga expert. Give yourself a break! I found this advice on https://www.upworthy.com/coronavirus-productivity-motivation-myths-dangers

• One of my mentors encouraged me to make peace with it. I'm still trying but it's hard. I get energy from being around people. I love going to Easter Seals, my physical therapy place and seeing people I love. Same with church, Loyola, Starbucks, etc. I find a lot of purpose in checking in with people and not doing it on a daily basis has been challenging. Some days, I'm great about calling, some days not so much. If I have a goal, that would be it: to call someone I wouldn't necessarily call every day of quarantine.

 

• Spend time with community. For example, my Bible study meets once a month and I suggested we meet on a Sunday night and three weeks later, we are doing it every week. If you want to gather, others do too!

 

• It's okay to have a good cry. This is hard!  Thank you to our health care workers, grocery store employees, mail carriers, and everyone on the front lines. You're what this country is all about! 

 I hope this message greets you with good health. This country has a long road ahead but if we face it with hope, it'll be a lot easier. Take a deep breath, hunker down, and spread love.

With Love,
Hannah!